I am open to criticism from all sides and all perspectives, but it has been a loop sided one when I conducted a survey with my friends and my parents whether the relationship between me and her would work out. It was one sided, in a negative point of view.
I have blabbered much about this new love that I have found this new year, but is this really to be considered as love? Or yet nother trap that I am falling into. Let me share what I know and dislike from my very own opinion.
Nevermind whatever I have written above, let me instead share you some good (and as well as bad) things that have happened today on our supposed to be first day of being officially in the boyfriend-girlfriend state.
We met at around lunch time at the Nccc Mall of Davao, as I have expected, she would be late. I was wondering whom she was talking to on her sun/smart sim, good to know that it was one of our fellow Popster Friends and not some other guy :p
After a while, we proceded to my place, just like we’ve planned it. Yet, I wasn’t able to pursue my very own plan that I had in mind, and that was courting her. Thinking about courting her is awful, how much more being in that first-hand situation and trying to get a word out? Hmm.
My mother had a little chat with her, asked this, asked that. And eventually we found ourselves sitting together and making use of my Neo Vivid 2121 Laptop for taking a look at her profile and glancing over to the Friendster Account of her friend to grab some pictures. Though, this wasn’t really a nice idea from my point of view, as I have seen some pictures that I ain’t wanna see, but have seen already on her very own account, and those are pictures of her and her boyfriend of which she claims to have had no contact with since June of 2008.
I do wonder why she still keeps the pictures and why they look so sweet in the most recent one, the Christmas Party that her so-called ex-boyfriend has attended. I don’t know if I should feel this bad about what I have seen, but it really lies in my nature being someone who easily gets jealous. And the jealousy wasn’t to end just there.
My classmate arrived a few minutes after that incident, we talked about a few things, in class, what our projects are and so. As eventually, I find them sitting each other and talking, well, talking isn’t that bad, but the way she approached and talked to him looked like she likes him. And she even came to ask whether he has a girlfriend or not. Why would she? 🙁 This has really made me feel sad and pissed off, because it looked like I’m not at my own house but at some others and listen her talking to my friend instead of me. She was noticable more quiet before he arrived.
Well, still, the afternoon had to get even more worse. As the three of us were about to leave my place, she had that idea that the three of us should go out. I asked her t0 look for a girl for my friend, but she appears not to be interested in helping me out getting him a girl, since it looks like she wants him. It’s not quiet obvious based on the idea that she gave, isn’t it?
The 5th of January, 2009 could be considered to be one of the worst day that I have had in my life, ranking among the top 10 worse scenarios ever happening, which I don’t want to enumerate nor recall at all. The mood swing doesn’t ends just there, there was yet a bit more to bump along my way. When we were in that Jeep, all three of us, I sat beside her on the left while my friend took the vacant seat on the right. side of the Jeep, as more space got vacant on the right, she moved over to seat beside him. Gush. Am I becoming too objective or is this really something fishy?
Still, the torment finds no ending for me, as she has been keeping the topic about him on, curiously asking me over and over again if my friend has added him on Friendster/Yahoo or whether he knows her Friendster/Yahoo Email. The hell I care, why won’t she ask him? Oh yes, she doesn’t has her number, but I bet in soon time she’ll gonna get that too.
There’s a rainbow always after the rain..
That’s something that one of my closest friends has reminded of a while ago. Things happen for a reason and indeed they do, and I should look at the things from a positive point of view, since no one can really please anyone. But, please, do you really think that I would feel jealous for no reason after you’ve read the content above?
Okay, there’s one thing that I know pretty good about. She loves me, I love her. But, yes, there’s always a but, does she still loves me or is it my friend whom she wants now? Or maybe her so-called ex-boyfriend? Nah, I don’t know. I’m getting objective again.
A friend of mine, Iway, said that I should hang on to this and that it just might not be my day, there are still a lot of days ahead of us and it would be a waste to throw this young relationship away. Well, I have no plan to throw it away, but I’m on the rear end of holding on to it already. Would it not have been my heart that tells me that I love her and that I need her and that she does the same way too despite all that has happened today; I would have already forgotten her.
I just simply can’t. It may have been a few days that we’ve really come to know each other more, but I believe that this relationship will grow and that I may eventually find myself happy with her one day and remembering the moment that I have posted this, thanking myelf, Kevin, you made the right choice and loved the right girl.
I love my BB Rhea